Over the years, I’ve seen many of my friends go from being in a relationship to being single just because they weren’t able to make a long distance relationship(LDR) work. They say absence makes the heart go fonder.. but does it really?
Thinking back on the past experiences I’ve had with LDR, I’d like to share with you some (no brainer) tips that many of us often take for granted:
One of the reasons an LDR may fail is time differences. A 12-16 hour time difference is a lot, especially when both of you are working. You need to agree on a set time when you and your partner can talk leisurely and not worry about meetings or deadlines. Penciling in a hurried Skype session with your partner a few minutes before your meeting won’t always go well. Why? One of you is bound to get tired with the quick hi-hello-goodbye type of talk.
Remember, your chat sessions or phone calls are the only time you’ll have with each other. You’d want to make the most of it. Most couples in long distance relationships often forget that quality is better than quantity. You may be talking a lot on the phone, Skype-ing, and posting sweet messages on each other’s Facebook walls, but if you are not really having conversations with your partner, you have a problem right there.
Long distance couples often fight because someone is always paranoid that the other one is cheating. When I was in Texas, there were times when I’d be so irrational and think my boyfriend was cheating on me even if I have no way of proving it. One of the best long distance relationship tips I got from a friend was to never start an argument I know I am never going to win. Instead of confronting him, I tried to keep my paranoia in check. It went away on its own eventually. After all, if there’s no evidence, your paranoia will soon go away.
You also have to remember that your partner has his/her own life. You can’t just expect him/ her to stay at home and wait until you come back. One of the many long distance relationship tips you’ll have to remember is to avoid keeping your partner on a tight leash. Let him or her do his/her thing.
It is not your partner’s fault that the two of you are in a long distance relationship. You can’t say ” I’m sorry, you’re never around and s/he’s always here”. That is crap.
You’ll find a lot of long distance relationship tips online, most of them would teach you how to spice up your relationship amidst the distance. The most important tip you’ll ever hear anyone say, however, is to avoid looking for someone who can “temporarily” fill in that space. Sure, you may be attracted to that guy you always see in the office, but attraction is only attraction unless acted upon.
At the end of the day, managing an LDR entails commitment and contentment. You may try following hundreds of long distance relationship tips. If you’re not fully committed to the kind of relationship you have and not contented with your partner, however, your relationship (even if it isn’t LDR) will never work out. [heart]